A Kira By Any Other Name
by Pazel
Summary: Right before elderly Harlow gives up her Death Note, part of her life flashes before her eyes. A time filled with killing the innocent in the notebook, while also hiding from Light Yagami, Misa Amane, Mello, and Near- all while she was only sixteen. RxR
1. Reminisce

"I give it up," I say to Hades, who chuckles. I see his blurry fingers reaching for the notebook, and suddenly my life flashes faster than one would believe.

It started back when I was a young lass of sixteen. The world was too busy to notice a shy girl like me, and so I never felt mindblowingly important in the universe. But it didn't bother me much, or at least that was the lie I fed myself to keep away my loneliness.

Instead, I told myself I was better than everyone else. To those who knew me, I was known as a freak. To those who had never met me, I was known as gifted. To myself, I was more than a freak and talented, neither of those, and yet those alone. To myself, I was known as God.

I spent most of my life in a daze. I would get grades that most of my classmates were envious of while drawing all during class. Not doodles or anime, but sketches and portraits. My greatest work, Harlow*, which was finished when I was nineteen, was placed on display in The Museum of Asia's Modern Marvels* in my early twenties. Within six months, it would be stolen, found, and burned, along with the entire museum in an accident that would cause the death of the museum's owner, a swindler and con artist that got stolen, priceless paintings through black market for almost nothing and sold them for a high profit, leaving the artists broke and homeless.

Another one of my paintings would not become famous within my lifetime, but that is almost over now. The heart monitor is slowing, and my daughter is screaming for me to hold on. Hades comes ever toward me, one hand holding his notebook, the other holding a pen with which he was writing a name. A mysterious name.

I suppose you would realize that it was no accident that he was killed. Kira was alive and thriving at this time, after almost three years fighting an L that had gone severely downhill as a detective. It had once been a battle of wits that had kept me all but glued to the news for a good few months. Then, out of nowhere, L suddenly became clueless and Kira reigned.

I wasn't suspicious at the time that L had died, but I would come to learn this after I met Light and Misa, who saw me as a great threat because of the notebook I possessed and the love of killing I had.

I don't know why I liked to kill them all off. It was mostly news reporters. It was funny to watch someone die just because I wrote their name down. Hades would watch over my shoulder and just shake his head chuckling. He called me naive. Maybe I was, but I found no wrong in that. I was sixteen, and having the most fun I had ever had in my entire life. I didn't do drugs and I didn't have sex or party or drink or anything. I hadn't even had my first kiss yet. Life was pretty boring until a black notebook simply fell from my ceiling onto my bed with a soft thump.

I would have screamed, but I figured my father had taped it to the ceiling and it had finally given way. There was no tape or residue on the book or the ceiling, but logic told me it _couldn't_ have come through the ceiling. I opened it.

Suddenly, I looked up to see a horrid thing. It was terrifying far beyond words. It was tall, about seven feet tall, and a sickly green color. It was so skinny that its ribs protruded from its body and its stomach was flat. It wore a Scottish kilt over its slimy, limber body. Two little horns stuck out of its head like a devil, and its eyes were empty and black, and to look into them was the same as looking into the eyes of a dead person. Its frame was skinny and its arms and legs were lanky and awkward. He had on a golden mask, as if he were going to a masquerade. It had a walking stick made of wood with a skull carved into the top.

I didn't move or speak. I told myself it was an illusion, but I didn't believe that stupid lie. I _wasn't_ crazy, and there was a monster standing before me!

"I am Hades," the monster said. "A Shinigami."

"Shinigami?"

"Did I stutter?"

I smirked at his smartass remark in spite of my fear.

"You have a Death Note in your hands. If you write someone's name in it, they will die within forty seconds of a heart attack, unless you put in all of the details. But you have to have their face in your mind when you write their names. It belongs to you. Do you want it?"

I told myself to say no. I didn't really want to kill anyone, but then something came to me.

"Is this how Kira kills?"

"Ah, Kira. Yes, this is how it's done, but that is all I can tell you. You can also trade half of your life for the Shinigami eyes, with which you can see the names and the lifespan a person has left above their heads. However, you can't see the fate of anyone with a Death Note."

Half of my life was a stretch. "No, thanks."

"Well, I dropped this in here. It was an accident, if you'd believe it. But it hit the human world, and you've touched it. There's nothing I can do now, unless you give it to me. Then, your memories will be erased."

"Do you need it?"

"Not necessarily. My life span far exceeds yours."

"By how much?"

"A few lifetimes."

"How long do I have?"

"I can't tell you that."

I flipped the leather book back and forth in my hands. "It'll really kill people?"

"Yes."

I thought back to earlier that day, to a bully who had been mean to me since I entered high school. He was into drugs, so an overdose wouldn't seem too far'fetched. I closed my eyes and pictured the bastard.

_Makino Hiro, overdose_

"Forty seconds," Hades said. "Then you'll see. But now, you are damned."

"Damned?"

"You can't go to heaven or hell."

"That's alright. I never believed in those, anyway. I expected death was the end of it."

"It might be, for you. Honestly, I don't know what happens to a person who uses a Death Note, other than what I just told you."

I shrugged. "It'll be fine. As long as he's dead tomorrow."

I almost fell to my knees weeping from realization of power and the pain of guilt when the loudspeaker announced Makino had died the night before.

* * *

***-** Harlow (the painting) and The Museum of Asian Modern Marvels (the museum) don't exist. If the do, it's a coincidence they're mentioned here.


	2. Kira

Hades followed me, and I was happy to have a friend. A real friend, who would never leave my side or betray me. I had never had such a friend. I was too quiet; too reserved. Now I had someone who respected me and laughed at my jokes and knew my likes and dislikes.

It was a special thing.

"You know, Harlow," he said to me one day as I walked home from school, "it's only a matter of time before you get caught, killing off students in your class like that."

"And who is going to suspect me?" I asked in a singsong voice. "I'm quiet and I don't have any friends. I'm respectful and withdrawn. They're dying of heart attacks, not of a bullet or anything. No one will suspect me."

"If you say so."

"You shouldn't worry too much."

"I'm just warning you. If this gets out, Kira will want to see you- no, Kira will want to _kill _you."

"But how will Kira even find me?"

"He may have the eyes."

"It's doubtful that we'll just meet on the streets."

"But possible."

"Just not probable."

Hades let out a sigh and stifled his anger. "You should really be more cautious. If you don't want to trade for the Shinigami Eyes, then you're only endangering yourself. You won't see Kira, and you won't live."

"You know," I said, ignoring him, "a few years ago, Kira and the second Kira spoke to each other over Sakura TV."

"What?"

"They sent audio cassettes back and forth."

"So what? You want to get in touch with them, too?"

I let out a laugh that scared me a little. "Yeah."

We walked home, and I went straight to the basement. My father had tons of cassettes because he did not quite understand the CD era. I grabbed an old rag that was laying on the dryer and used it as a glove while I took a packet- two cassettes- and went to my room. In my room was an old tape player that I hadn't used in ages. I attached a microphone into it and began to speak to the Kira.

"Hello, Kira?" I pressed pause and rewound it. I ran to the bathroom and grabbed a new roll of toilet paper. I tore the paper off the roll and placed the roll to my lips. It echoed and distorted my voice a little. I began again.

"Kira? Are you listening? I am..." I didn't know what to call myself. I looked up at Hades and blurted out, "A- Athena." I cleared my throat and said, "I have a D- I have your power, as well. I've just gotten it. I do not want to be found. I do not share in your idea of a utopia. I would just like to be left alone with my power, and- and live long into my old age. I will not cooperate with you. I do not want to meet you. I could not care less about you. This is to tell you that I am here, and that I do not want you near me."

I pressed the stop button and the eject button. I grabbed the tape with the rag and put it on the floor. Then I grabbed the second tape and put it in the slot.

"Dear Sakura TV. If you do not play that message when your ratings are at its peak on the night you receive this, I will kill each and every one of you. Sincerely, Ath- Kira."

I pressed the stop and eject buttons.

"I thought you didn't want to be Kira?" Hades empty voice said from behind me.

"They'll listen to Kira, not to Athena. I had to say it. Hopefully they'll be too scared to notice I flubbed the word."

"Hmm. You're not as stupid as you look."

Later before dinner, I put the tapes into an envelope and sent them to Sakura TV with the address I had gotten on the internet.

That night at seven, I heard my message played.

"My, my, my," my mother said, shaking her head. "What is the world coming to?"

I suppose Light had seen the message that day, but was so amazed he had nothing to say until the next day.

"Athena," said the reply, "I will find and kill you for intruding onto my territory. You do not belong here. I found the second Kira and we have worked together. You, who are completely unwilling, will be terminated. Remember to kill someone every thirteen days, Athena. I don't want you to die before I kill you."

"Every thirteen days?" I asked Hades, who was resting on my bed.

"Huh? Oh, I donno. I've never heard that."

"Maybe I should continue, just in case. It sounds like I have to."

I continued to kill. Person after person died. At first, it was criminals who were on death row. Then it became criminals who weren't, then every day people that I just didn't like, mostly from my own school, but only those who were doing drugs or in a gang. Once, I killed my neighbor and watched him die from suffocation. I never apologized to his family, but I did leave flowers on their doorstep to compensate.

I knew that rebelling would lead Kira to me. I was leaving him a small trail of bread to me, because in all honesty, I wanted the rush. The rush of being able to fight against a powerful criminal and see who was better. It was a game, that's all. I was playing with my life, but I was only a teenager, and the possibility of growing old or dying never even came to mind. I felt like I would stay the same age forever and ever. Because of that, I wanted to have fun.

I told Hades I didn't want Kira to come to me because I didn't want him to worry. In secret, I wanted him to find me more than I wanted oxygen in my body.

I looked him in the eyes, and I could tell immediately that he knew what I wanted.

One day, a young man walked into my classroom. He was dressed very well, with a gray suit and thin red tie. His light brown hair was messy, but in a handsome way. "I am with the Task Force," he said to us. "I am Ryuzaki, and I will be talking to each of you separately out in the hallway."

The class trembled with murmurs and whispers.

"Alright, please be quiet. This is important. I will be starting with Hideki Harlow."

I narrowed my eyes and walked out with him.

"So, he said as he closed the door, "are you related to Hideki Ryuuga?"

"He's a distant cousin on my father's side. We never talk to him, though."

"Oh, that's pretty cool." We walked down the hallway when he looked around. "Alright, let's end the song and dance. Where is your Death Note?"

For a moment I was afraid. Then I said, "it's a pleasure to meet you, Kira."


	3. Alliance

Kira told me to follow him quietly and obediently. I did as he said, and we walked from the school building into a black car with darkly tinted windows. Inside the car in the back seat was a girl with yellow hair in gothic lolita dress, Misa Ayame, the famous model. I sat in the passenger's seat.

"You, Harlow," he said coldly. "You have a Death Note?"

"Yes," I answered.

"And you're not willing to work with Kira?"

I sat up straight and considered what to tell him. To say no meant death. To say yes would put him at such ease so quickly.

"Maybe," I whispered, fearing my words.

Kira drove away from the school. "You do understand that Misa has the Eyes, don't you? And you obviously don't. I got that from your message."

I smiled proudly. "You noticed."

He turned to me with a scowl then turned back to the road. "Of course I noticed! Now, do you want to die or not?"

"I will work with you, Kira," I said. "I'm honored to meet you, actually."

I took him by surprise. "You are?"

"I get picked on at school for being quiet and having no friends. I'm not pretty. No guys even look at me. Bullies always target me. So I got them back. It felt good. Then I got other people. People on the news. Other bullies. Newscasters, too. I hate them. They spread lies. They spread the lies and rumors of my cousin. He can't have a few beers without being on the news. So I kill them."

"You said you weren't close."

"We used to be, as kids. He was a teenager when I was born, but he wasn't famous, and we would play together."

The car stopped at a red light.

"So you're protecting your cousin?" the girl asked from the back.

"As much as I can."

"That's innocent."

I laughed. "Is it?"

"I think so. Revenge from bullies who have hurt you isn't bad, either." She smiled at me, and I was put at ease. I was not afraid of this girl. She seemed to be so innocent and trusting. I almost couldn't believe that she was Kira. But everyone had secrets. I didn't know much about her, even though her entire past was just a click away. I was not into modeling, despite my cousin's career.

"Harlow, if you work with me," Kira began, "you will be promised complete protection from any and all harm. You will be introduced as a cousin of Misa who has come to stay for a while to get into the modeling business. Your entire personality must twisted into one just like hers. You must become extroverted and bubbly at all times. You must be flirtatious and dress... well, Misa will take care of that. We're on our way to town. It's so busy there that you won't run into any familiar faces. You will be transformed immediately into a new person."

I narrowed my eyes. "You already knew I would side with you."

Kira laughed. It was joyful and almost angelic. "Of course I did! Who would say no to me? They'd die."

I tilted my head with thought. "True."

We drove into town and got out after parking a mile away. Misa took me into stores while Kira stayed within a close proximity to keep a look out for any suspicious behavior. Luckily, there was none, and when I left the shop, I looked like a mini-Misa.

My legs were covered to my thighs by a short black dress that belled out in a cute and elegant way, with white sleeves that came out from under my dress as if they were two different articles of clothing. I had on arm warmers and high black pumps. My hair was done up into pigtails with black and red ribbon intertwined with my dark brown locks. For the first time, I had dramatic make-up in my possession.

Kira drove me home and parked a street away from my house. "Get it," he demanded.

I rushed to my house and grabbed my Death Note, assuring my mother that I would be right back.

I knocked on his window, which he lowered. I stuck my Death Note through the opening and he touched it. Misa's arm stretched around Kira's head to touch the leather-bound notebook, also.

"Hello," Hades said as Kira's eyes fixed on the shinigami. "I am Hades."

Kira smiled. "Hello, Hades."

Hades turned to me as I took the notebook back. "Harlow, go home. Let me have a talk with them, alright?"

I wanted to object, but I went with my better judgment and excused myself. I jogged down the small hill home. When I walked into the house, my mother looked at me oddly. My school uniform was in a plastic bag, and I was dressed in a style I had never shown interest in before. I had also been out much later than usual, even though it was only about five.

"Honey, what's this?" she asked with a hint of worry in her voice.

"Oh," I said with a cracked and nervous voice. "I met a girl who's really into gothic lolita, so I was trying out her style today. She bought me this and had me get my make-up done. No biggie."

"Are you... rebelling?" she asked as she placed a worried hand on her face.

I laughed casually. "No!"

The next day was a Friday. I went to school like usual, and I was picked up three streets away by Misa and Kira.

"Come with us," Kira said, and I got in the back seat. He took me to what he said was the Task Force Headquarters as I changed in the back of the car shamelessly.

When we got there, Misa put my make-up on for me quickly and efficiently. I looked like a doll, and I couldn't help but be impressed at my short and stubby reflection in the shiny car door.

We walked into Headquarters. My heart beat madly, and I took in deep breaths to calm it. _Extroverted. Bubbly. Flirtatious. Right._

We walked in to a small group of men. They looked over pieces of paper containing what must have been evidence. The room smelled strongly of coffee, and there was a mug of the steaming drink next to each person.

"Light!" an old man exclaimed. "Who is that?"

He looked at me, and I felt very small under his gaze.

Kira- Light- put his hand on my shoulder. "This is Misa's little cousin, Kari. She's trying to get into the modeling business, so she'll be staying with us."

_Kari? Of course he would change my name! _I felt stupid for not expecting it.

"Well, hello, Kari," the man said. "I am Light's father. It's nice to meet you."

I bowed lightly. "It's nice to meet you, too, Mr. Yagami."

Everyone else introduced themselves. Aizama, Matsuda, and Mogi were all very polite and accepted me without question. They were also very gullible.

"Alright, Kari. It's about time to go to your room. We have work to do," Light said, and Misa pushed me out by my shoulders.

It was only then that I realized how close _Kari _was to _Kira._


End file.
